The three most common side effects of aging are neuritis, neuralgia and nostalgia

Used to hear the old folks swap complaints all the do-dah day. Now I am the old folks. Oh, 
where are the ailments of yesteryear?

Oh, didn't ya hear? Fred passed with the CONSUMPTION.
Aunt Bertie's RHEUMATISM  getting to her again?
Don't mind him, he's just got a bad dose of the GRIPES

Seems to me that people's ailments were spoken of in tongues, back in the day.

When did humans (or some creature resembling) get off the ground?